When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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