i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
