the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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