I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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