i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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