Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
