if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
