all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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