So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
In America we eat man semen.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
