so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
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Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
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Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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