You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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