She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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