How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
