belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
