5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
