Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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