if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
