Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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