i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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