Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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