Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize