Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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