So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
