You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
No subtext here. People are naked.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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