my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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