I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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