she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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