We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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