dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
false alarm. still invincible.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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