Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
