I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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