"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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