I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
