It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
