I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
