WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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