Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
