I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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