dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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