He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
