You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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