I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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