Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
