Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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