redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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