My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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