so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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