I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
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