Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
