WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
