i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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