Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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