Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I am naked and annoyed.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
