am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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