so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize