Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize