I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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