i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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