HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
